First Day of the last 30 days

Today was absolutely beautiful outside.  80 degrees in the Valley.  I was singing up a storm at the house and was pretty happy to find out that day light savings was over and we had all gained an extra hour of sleep.  The baby had gotten up alittle later than usualy, which was great, but again, she didn’t sleep that fantastically through the night.  She’s definitely teething, growing all four qudrants of her first molars at the same time.  So after being up with her by myself, the hubby came and relieved me and gave me an extra hour and half to sleep.  I had originally planned to go to church with my Mom, to the church that we grew up in, but that didn’t happen.  We had watched Bishop T.D. Jakes earlier in the morning and had started to watch Joel Osteen, but I had seen that sermon before.

Well, I ended up singing like crazy today, belting out “If I Could”, several times, before calling it quits and letting my voice rest.  The baby was so tired that she fell asleep in my arms while while I was singing…that’s crazy…she must have been really tired.  Her sleep time finaly gave me a chance to wash my face and comb my hair.  Wow, the things mommies do…I was looking ragedy for real.  But finally got it together. 

I also had the opportunity to speak with my best friend.  I am so proud of her.  She is on a mission to lose weight and she is doing it.  We were talking about her weight loss cerimony.  She wants to have a “memorial service” for her fat clothes.  Something only “girlfriend’s can relate to”…I love the idea.  Of course I’ll be singing. 

Well, i’m back to blogging like crazy and I really am going to get some videos done.  I saw a girl on YouTube who just video taped herself a capella who totally inspired me.   So, I’ve charged my Flip camera and am I definitely going to tape myself tomorrow, Monday, Novemebr 2nd.  You read it, so I am accountable to you regarding this committment.  Nichole Ayanna, signing out!

What Are You Afraid Of…Uhhh?

Most people are crippled by negative possibilitites.  They question themselves with “What if’s”, which prevent them from doing things in their lives that they would truly enjoy, or that they dream of doing. I have got to admit that I used to be one of those people.  I don’t know why but for years after I stopped singing with my sisters in the music group Nik-Tash’tA, I had developed this terrible stage fright.  I think it stemmed from doing a couple of just really bad shows.  We had been exhausted.  I was in school full time, and so were my sisters.  We hadn’t really practiced that well.  I think that also, with one of the performances, I had totally syked myself out because it was one of those “comedy and R&B” shows.  So I created this FEAR inside me of what if’s”.  What if I totally choke and then the comedians make fun of us all night?  Man it was a self fulfilling prophecy.  Our rehearsal before the show was great but during the show my throat felt like I had eaten a box of salteens.  It was totally not me and absolutely aweful.  I heard a guy in the audience who was at the rehearsal say…”what in the world happened…they were great in the rehearsal.”

So years afterwards, I have had to face my fears to really live the life that I truly want to live.  I am a singer down deep in my soul. 

I began to think about this topic last week, but really got deep into this conversation of “fear” running your life, with my best friend.  She was dealing with the same issue, and was finally recognizing it for what it was and what many people have learned that fear stands for…False Evidence Appearing Real.  You have to face some of your fears head on, and to do so, you have to see the positive possibilies insted of the negative what if’s.  I’ve learned that time is going pass with or without me doing things that I really love so I might as well do them, while still be reasonable and ethical.  I’m not saying do something that will harm or injure yourself or someone else, but to move you to action with things in your life that will make your dreams come true or move you to happiness.  What are some of these things for you?