What Are You Afraid Of…Uhhh?

Most people are crippled by negative possibilitites.  They question themselves with “What if’s”, which prevent them from doing things in their lives that they would truly enjoy, or that they dream of doing. I have got to admit that I used to be one of those people.  I don’t know why but for years after I stopped singing with my sisters in the music group Nik-Tash’tA, I had developed this terrible stage fright.  I think it stemmed from doing a couple of just really bad shows.  We had been exhausted.  I was in school full time, and so were my sisters.  We hadn’t really practiced that well.  I think that also, with one of the performances, I had totally syked myself out because it was one of those “comedy and R&B” shows.  So I created this FEAR inside me of what if’s”.  What if I totally choke and then the comedians make fun of us all night?  Man it was a self fulfilling prophecy.  Our rehearsal before the show was great but during the show my throat felt like I had eaten a box of salteens.  It was totally not me and absolutely aweful.  I heard a guy in the audience who was at the rehearsal say…”what in the world happened…they were great in the rehearsal.”

So years afterwards, I have had to face my fears to really live the life that I truly want to live.  I am a singer down deep in my soul. 

I began to think about this topic last week, but really got deep into this conversation of “fear” running your life, with my best friend.  She was dealing with the same issue, and was finally recognizing it for what it was and what many people have learned that fear stands for…False Evidence Appearing Real.  You have to face some of your fears head on, and to do so, you have to see the positive possibilies insted of the negative what if’s.  I’ve learned that time is going pass with or without me doing things that I really love so I might as well do them, while still be reasonable and ethical.  I’m not saying do something that will harm or injure yourself or someone else, but to move you to action with things in your life that will make your dreams come true or move you to happiness.  What are some of these things for you?

I Don’t Know Where To Begin

My mind is going a million miles a minute with all of the things that I would like to accomplish today.   I want to be able to get that video done of me practicing one of my favorite songs in the car…it may be easier to tape it after I get home;-).  I’ve been singing a song that my Dad wrote for me years ago called Where were You.  It’s definitely a challenging song to sing.  It really works the range of my vocal ability but definitely can get my vocals in shape with a consistent practice of it.  It’s a jazzy R&B, love ballad, similar to the songs in the likes of Anita Baker ( another great black female singer i haven’t mentioned in the past).  My dad wrote it when I was recording at the age of 16 years old.  There were live musicians in the studio…a baby grand piano, live drums, and even an upright base.  My voice, even at 16 was thick, low, and strong.  I re-sang that song again when my sisters and I recorded our self titled debut full lengthed CD, Nik-Tash’Ta.  I think it’s track # 6.  Check it out at www.cdbaby.com/niktashta .

I also want to be able to get a run in, put a wireless router on my computer, get into my email newsletter system and work on some stuff, and upload some pictures into my, Nichole Ayanna website here, BUT, I would be spreading myself too thin.   Doing all those things would be a little…ambitious.  We’ll see what thinga I was able to accomplish by the end of the day and I’ll update you on it tomorrow.  Hopefully, you are able to that video in the next few days or so.  Oh yeah, happy day 3 of the 90 day challenge.  How are you doing on the challenge, if you are doing it with me?

The 2nd Day of the Rest of Your Life…

Nichole Ayanna here…Maybe I am being a little dramatic with the title to this post.  This is the 2nd day of the 90 day challenge where I am have committed to posting on my blog or on You tube everyday for the next 90 days.  My posts will be about anything that help to improve my life with regards to living a healthy lifestyle, growing with my music, my family life and my spiritual wellbeing.  I want you to do it too and let me about your progress along the way.

Yesterday went ok with getting the baby to sleep a little earlier.  It is going to have to be a gradual process but I got her to fall asleep an extra 45 minutes earlier than she regularly does. Of course I have 2 other issues too, the fact that she is still nursing and that she is the bed with my husband and me…crazy isn’t it.  So I am actually working on all three issues.  If you have any suggestions I am all ears.

I chose some new songs to learn by great black female singers,  too.  I am preparing to perform for a launch party for my sister’s new mobile pampering day spa which will be in October.  She will have massage therapists, teeth whitening, yoga sessions and me performing.  Once I get the date confirmed I will definitely blog about it. 

I also was invited to participate in the Las Vegas Girl Festival, where a lot of female artists/ musicians and artisans perform or display their artwork for about 2 weeks in October.  I’m putting my band together for both shows so, if you are in the Los Angeles area and can play some great R&B, neo soul, and hiphop, let’s see if we can get together and put the show together.  Also, you’ve gotta be down to travel to Vegas. 

Next on my list to do is to practice, practice, practice.  It’s been a little hard to get my practicing in but I will practice in my car, or anywhere I get a free moment to myself.  I’ll upload a practice session on YouTube so you can see what I’m talkin’ about.  I’ll be back tomorrow for more updates…